Healing.

Talk about a difficult subject for me.

It is probably the most significant theme of my life at the moment and has been for about a year and a half. Ever since I got sick. I started narrating it even.

Here is what I began to write about when I first got sick, the details aren't entirely true and neither is the name but this is kind of what happened to me:

She woke up from her sleep rested and peaceful. After a few minutes of drifting between a place of sleep and awareness she sat up in bed and stretched her arms, feeling energized and ready for a new day.

However, Cassie noticed that her head felt slightly heavy got and as she got out of bed, the world swayed slightly. She puzzled. She bent over to pick up the book she had been reading the night before and as she came up, a wave of dizziness hit her hard. Then she began to remember…

The bus had seemingly come out of nowhere as she crossed the road yesterday. The brakes screeched as the bus came towards her, but it was going to fast to miss. It hit her, just on her shoulder and knocked her back. She had fallen over and hit and her head on the pavement. The moments after that were a little fuzzy in her memory.

But she had been reasonably ok in the afternoon and evening after the accident. She had gotten in her car and driven home with no major side effects bar a sore shoulder. It had been such a relief.

But now she felt a tinge of unease as she got up out of bed. She spent a few minutes deciding if she should wear a vest or a scarf with her long sleeved white cotton shirt, jeans and her favorite dark brown knee high boots. She then headed into the bathroom to brush her long brown hair. However as she looked in the mirror she noticed that again the world was swaying slightly side to side. It bothered her.

She had just come back from a year adventuring in Melbourne, living at the beach, studying in late and studying a course in youth work. So that day she set about looking to find a job and trying to decide whether to continue doing more study or not. As she sifted through different newspapers and articles on different Bachelors degrees, she was slightly nauseated.

Her shoulder was smarting as well, so she organized to go to the family chiropractor that she had been going to for as long as she could remember. She had never trusted anyone more with her health than Terry. He always seemed to have a knack to understand the medical problems in her life that even Doctors had overlooked.

She drove off her in her small blue Daihatsu not realizing how significant this drive would be. She struggled as she was driving to. Within minutes of the drive she became dizzy and she started feeling sicker and sicker. She made it just to chiropracter before she lost her breakfast.

Terry came over, a concerned look on his face. Cassie grimaced and straightened up, letting him lead her into the examination room. After a few minutes of prodding and poking, Terry tapped his pen and promtly said "Cass, you've had a concussion. It is going to take you a little while to recover."

It didn't take just a little while. It took years.


Ok so I didn't have a car accident exactly, but I was hit on the head and ended up with a concussion. But what was really difficult was the dizziness. I struggled with it for years and as we later discovered it continued because of this medication I was taking. See it was an antioxident, and I thought that it was all natural, but it wasn't. So i was effectively poisoning myself every day with this stuff.

But the symtoms were what was difficult to deal with. I seemed to have pretty major dizziness and carsickness. If I took just one ten minute car ride I would literally feel lightheaded and dizzy and nausous for hours afterwards. Honestly, I ended up walking most places because I couldn't travel really without medication.

Is it a little strange to write a story like that about that first day of sickness??? I was going to continue on a while a whole I don't know, something. It is just that that first day was so real in my memory.

It really turned into something of a nightmare. For the first forty days and forty night I would wake up every morning and not feel like it was real. Like it wasn't happening to me. It just felt so surreal.

I quit my job, I deferred my uni course, I cleared my calender and gave myself one objective: to recover. Little did I know just how long it would take